I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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