Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
