i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
