You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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