i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
