I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
