can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
