I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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