Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
