At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
