Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
