i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Randomize
