last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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