they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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