it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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