my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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