Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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