spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
