no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
