I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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