Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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