Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Alive.
So much puke
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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