Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
