(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
