she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just found puke in my bra..
Houston, we have a squirter
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
