What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
