Buhtt sex?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
