i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
