Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
