But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
