Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
