so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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