I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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