As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
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btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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