the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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