So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I intend to get homeless drunk
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
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You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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