Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize