just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just had sex on a roof
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
