the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Your cock deserves a montage
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
