Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.

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  (951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye. http://tfl.nu/mzng
  Replies (63) Good night (1603) Bad night (10171)
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  (951): View more from California

  I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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  (951): I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on. http://tfl.nu/klvy
  Replies (32) Good night (709) Bad night (4736)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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  (770): He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle. http://tfl.nu/uuu6
  Replies (15) Good night (6493) Bad night (740)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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  (480): I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same http://tfl.nu/efli
  Replies (6) Good night (528) Bad night (3039)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones

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  (605): remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones http://tfl.nu/3i5q
  Replies (16) Good night (1183) Bad night (4362)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.

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  (978): I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened. http://tfl.nu/wamv
  Replies (11) Good night (2537) Bad night (1269)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?

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  (440): Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating? http://tfl.nu/ubob
  Replies (6) Good night (1547) Bad night (1065)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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  (585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd
  Replies (6) Good night (775) Bad night (1681)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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  (508): I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat. http://tfl.nu/wq7n
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (1006)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.

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  (763): FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth. http://tfl.nu/ynrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (653)
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  (212): View more from New York

  you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window

  (212): View more from New York

  i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there

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  (212): you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window (212): i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there http://tfl.nu/q2cr
  Replies (3) Good night (988) Bad night (449)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.

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  (513): I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate. http://tfl.nu/7b4m
  Replies (1) Good night (844) Bad night (283)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.

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  (651): Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz. http://tfl.nu/u6wd
  Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (315)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.

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  (720): His dick is so big it could be an arm rest. http://tfl.nu/aqho
  Replies (2) Good night (902) Bad night (248)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.

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  (505): i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me. http://tfl.nu/ohrd
  Replies (3) Good night (342) Bad night (749)

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