i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .