I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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