he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
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