Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
