Please, let me fuck your mom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
