Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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