he told me I talked like a deaf person
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
