YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
