I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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