Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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