I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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