so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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