Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Even my vagina gasped.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
