Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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