your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
