you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
