i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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