he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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