True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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