guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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