You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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