Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
