is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
