I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
