I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
