I'm going to jail i love you
kristin has been a bad kristin
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
