Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
