Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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